How to Ask for a Hookup without Looking Stupid
Hookups are some of the most exciting forms of romantic interaction that you can have with another person. The only downside is that you can make yourself look utterly stupid if you approach the topic the wrong way. You don’t want to be known as the weirdo that has scared off all these women because you get tongue-tied about the topic of sex. Fortunately, you can follow a few guidelines and learn how to ask a woman for a hookup without looking weird.
Telling a Guy You Want to Hook UpThe best way to ask a guy to hook up with you is just to say it! Text him something like, “Hey, I was thinking of you. Want to come over and have some fun?” or even just, “Want to hook up?” It’s best not to be too subtle, to avoid confusion.
The way I asked the last several people I propositioned:
“Hey, would you be interested in hooking up sometime?”
What makes it “polite” is the lack of expectation of reciprocation. When they said “no”, I shrugged and said “ok, cool” and we went on being friends. When they said “yes”, we hooked up for as long as it lasted, and then we went back to being friends when it was over.
I was not attached to an expected outcome. I did not expect them to return my feelings. I did not feel entitled to a positive response just because I screwed up the courage to ask. I just asked. Like the way I would ask if they wanted to go to a movie with me or hang out sometime.
That lack of expectation came through in my tone, and made people feel safe in answering me, whichever way they wanted to answer. And then I proved myself worthy of that trust by legitimately not having any expectations and letting go if I got a rejection.
Just ask for what you want, without expectation, in plain words that don’t beat around the bush or hint or make anyone have to think about subtext or double meanings or hidden agendas. And then accept whatever answer they give you gracefully.
tell her you find her really attractive and you were wondering if she thought you were too and if she says yes lean in for a kiss and take it from there . If your only looking for friends with benefits though make that clear so she doesn’t end up falling head over heals and you breaking her heart. Just be clear on what you want so it’s fair to her too. I’m open with my friends so If I wanted to hookup with one of them I would just be like “you know what I was wondering how you would feel about hooking up it sounds kind of fun would you be down for something like that or would it be wierd for you lol ?”
Do you have ANY reason to believe she’s interested in you as a sex partner?
Cool down three notches.
- You could ask her, when a good moment arrives, how she feels about FWB (my cousin says she’s in a FWB relationship, is that too weird? Or whatever.)
- Let her know you are attracted to her. It’s true and easy. She’ll let you know where you stand immediately.
- Are you against having a “girlfriend”? Ask her out on a date! See how she likes that idea first.
My best FWB arrangements started as blind dates. One lasted for 10 years, Weds nights like clockwork, regardless of my (or their) then current relationship. They moved away and we talk on Wednesdays…
Meet her at a bar. Have a few drinks. Play some pool. Then say. “Would you like to come home with me?” It’s subtle and it says I want you but it remains polite. If she says yes, she is saying yes to sex. Now, just don’t fuck it up. She most likely will say yes if she agreed to meet you for a drink in the first place. 🙂 BTW. A female bartender told me this technique years ago. And a couple women used it on me. Lol!
Be confident while looking for local hookups
Confidence is king in all things, from employment to social interactions. It should be no surprise that the most important mindset to maintain while you’re dating is one of confidence. Some people are genuinely confident when they are trying to hook up with women. Those types of guys can walk into any bar and start chatting with ladies, and they’ll naturally attract them, too. By the end of the night, a confident guy can get a hookup with just a little effort and a cocky smile that makes women want them. Still, other men need a little boost in confidence before getting positive results. You have two options if you’re looking for local hookups:
- fake it until you make it;
- utilize a better hookup method than bar room dating.
The former concept is exceptional if you can psych yourself up and believe in yourself. Otherwise, you need a less direct way of asking women to hook up, like using an online dating site. Going on one of these dating services is the key to finding a local hookup for people who aren’t good at the face-to-face aspect of asking women for hookups. Dating websites basically make the entire situation easier because you will be:
- using a site for local women;
- the women on that site will be ready for hookups;
- you can’t fake your confidence online until you feel it;
- rejections won’t wreck your confidence because you’re not face-to-face.
For all these reasons and more, going digital can be just the thing you need to make local hookups happen between you and a woman. Just remember that you need to use a good website and a VPN to give you access to the best resources without leaving any personal data on the net.
Nothing is impossible, don’t make it difficult for yourself
Another thing that every man needs when looking for a hookup is the correct perspective. Too many guys start looking for hookups and stop quickly because they think that their failure equals impossibility. You have to realize that not every woman is looking for hookups. Even the most charming man is going to fail because some women need to be in a relationship to sleep with someone.
At best, one study showed that about 39% of women had tried to hook up with someone throughout their lives, and the majority of them did so five times or less throughout their lives. The odds are not in your favor if you go out and try to find random hookups.
The best way to overcome the feeling that hookups are hard or impossible to find is to use technology to even the odds. We have already expounded on the benefits of using dating websites for hookups, and that idea crops up here once again. When you log into a local hookup website for the first time, you’ll see that there are thousands of women online and in the mood.
That vastly improves your chances because 100% of the women on the site want some form of casual dating. Even if a quarter of them are attracted to you and live close by, you can still find tons of meaningful partners. Remember that getting an edge by using dating services is the best way to cut down on negative feelings about the potential of hooking up.
Don’t look too thirsty
A major problem men face when trying to hook up with an attractive woman is that they come on too strong. In many ways, women are different than men. They know what they want, but they enjoy the “dance” that gets them to say yes. So, what does a woman expect from a man who wants hookups?
- Don’t show too much interest in her. You can’t make her the center of your universe, or she’ll feel that she’s won, and the game is over.
- Strike up a conversation, and let it trail into something flirty.
- Let her know she’s attractive; buy her a drink or comment on her picture online.
- If things start to cool off, let them.
Guys who play it cool are the ones that end up with hookups. The men who relentlessly pursue women are the ones that end up seeming too clingy for a fun night. How you play it cool is up to you, but be a little distant, don’t let them know everything about you, and don’t be a sounding board for all their problems. Let them know you’re out for a good time and that you’re perfectly alright with your own company.
The Best Romantic Places to Meet a Single Woman
Girls need it as much as you do
The last thing you need to realize is that women want sex just as much as men. A lot of women are programmed by society from a young age to be more conservative with their sexual feelings and to practically never express them to other people. That is why women will make the man coax them with sweet words or a few drinks to separate the “real” them from the one that is having fun.
Again, if you go out to a club, you can certainly find women in need of a good time. If you use an online dating service, you’ll find women who are more comfortable pursuing hookups because they’re online and better able to express themselves without feeling foolish. The simple realization that girls want sex just as much as men should give you confidence, and you can turn that into a successful hookup.
Nothing is worse than putting yourself out there for a hookup and looking dumb for all your efforts. Fortunately, you can approach hookups with the knowledge that women want hookups and that some ways are more effective at finding them, and that can be the difference between an empty bed and a good time. Take what we’ve shown you here, and go forth to have wonderful hookups with beautiful women!
How to Run a Dating Service Successfully
How do I give a hint to a girl on Tinder for hookup or ask her if she is interested?
Well you’re on a dating site, so you can be a little more direct. Just ask her what’s she’s on Tinder for, and whether she wants to have fun with you, or whether she’s interested in you. She’ll likely give a pretty direct answer, and you can either move on with her or continue swiping. Just don’t get overtly sexual from the beginning unless her profile suggests that she would be able to take that well.
A lot of messages I got just immediately got to the point of whether I wanted to do some explicit thing or another, and that never worked. So say hello like a normal person in a normal conversation, get to know why she’s on Tinder, etc, and ask her if she’s interested in having fun with you.
How do you talk after hooking up with a friend you don’t want to date?
First, you’ve got to figure out, if your friend feels like dating. There is a huge chance he’s asking the same question as you are right now. Try to take a humorous tone and watch his reaction. May be, it’s a “no bother” situation.
If he’s really up to dating and relationship, things get complicated. Do not ignore the situation. Showing it’s not a big deal for you will not make any better.
I suggest being honest, but gentle. Tell him it was fabulous….but your friendship is a much more fabulous and valuable thing for you. Tell him you’re not very good at relationship-making and it will end up with a breakup and mutual hatred, which you certainly don’t want. It will probably hurt his feelings a bit, but should be given a chance to your further friendship.
In any way, hooking up with a friend is risky, if you are not up for dating him. You’ve crossed the borderline. Now try your best, but be ready for the friendship to fade away. And if so, it’s for the best. It means you friend was in love for you and the status quo could not last forever. It will help him get over, find a happy love and move on with his life. Isn’t that what you want for him?
How should I apologize to a former friend that I made uncomfortable with my advances after she told me she wasn’t interested in hooking up?
She told you “no” many times. In your own words.
I bet she does feel like you almost raped her.
You have no idea what it feels like to have someone completely ignore your boundaries. What if you had a friend who was a male, bigger than you. You really liked being friends with him, but he just wanted to hook up with you.
You told him no, but he forced you to kiss him and he put his hands all over you. He’s bigger than you, stronger than you. When you finally got him to stop, he was like, “Oh, I was stupid. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable. Forgive me?”
Uncomfortable? Is that how you feel? This guy made you a little uncomfortable? I mean, he was your friend and he just forced himself on you, like he could do what he wanted since he’s stronger than you. I’m sure you would have enjoyed it if you just went along with him….
Do you want to be friends with this guy? Are you outraged? Might you tell your friends what he did to you, to warn them that he might do the same thing to them?
Learn your lesson and leave her alone. Try not thinking with your small head the next time you want to “convince” a “friend” to service you.
How to Ask for a Hookup without Looking Stupid