How Soon Is Too Soon To Move In?
Every relationship may evolve in its way, but there is still a reasonable time, neither too early nor too late, to move in with him. Deciding to live under the same roof is critical in a romantic relationship. But when is the couple ready to take the plunge? Because, in the end, this decision is as exciting as it is terrifying.
You start with this sudden intimacy that will unite us and prove very embarrassing if we don’t know each other well enough. But based on a few criteria, you will be able to realize whether or not the time has come to have an address for two. “It’s a decision based on how advanced your relationship is, or how your relationship develops, rather than how long your relationship lasts,” says Dr. Michele Marsh, Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia, surveyed by Women’s Health.
1- You have been together for at least a year
A year of romance is the minimum period before asking or giving your partner a duplicate key. According to Susan Bartell, a family psychologist based in New York, this first year spent each at home “would give couples enough time to face most of the daily conflicts of life” and, therefore, see if they can overcome them together. And what compromises and adjustments each partner is willing to make. Discussing the distribution of household chores, finances, and space is also essential, underlines the specialist.
2- You know each other well
If everyone at home took place this past year from one end of the globe, you might need a reprieve before you and your future roommate have the duplicate keys. Knowing each other well is very important; it allows you to better adapt to the other’s habits, tastes, and character traits. And to realize if it can match with us. “Get to know their habits, quirks, and way of maintaining their own home,” advises Dr. Michaelis, psychologist and author of Your Next Big Thing.
3- There are no external factors that influence your decision
Just because your guy has to move out or struggle to make ends meet financially doesn’t mean you should get an apartment together, warns Los Angeles-based couples therapist Dr. Caroline Madden. “One of the biggest mistakes couples make is to move in together for financial reasons,” reminding us that our only motivation must be to want to build a future together.
Be on the same wavelength.
4- You have put the cards on the table
Just as you need to be sure you want to move in with him for the right reasons, you also need to be sure of your partner’s motivations and expectations. For example, if he wants you to spend less time with your friends afterward or he wants to be too dependent on you, it could turn into a clash before you even finish emptying your boxes. “If the move requires a significant loss of independence for you, the relationship is likely to collide once the excitement of this union subsidies,” says psychologist Michele Marsh. On the other hand, if we agree and are in phase with our conception of this cohabitation, it is a good sign.
5- You are on the same wavelength
“The best time for a couple to decide to live together is when they’ve established the long-term goal of the relationship,” says therapist Marni Feuerman. So if you both want to get married, adopt three Yorkies, and still have a slew of friends at home, you seem like a perfect fit. But to be sure that this is the case, it is imperative to discuss it beforehand.
6- You feel ready
You might get all of the above criteria right; if you don’t feel ready to take the plunge despite everything, it’s probably not the right time yet. Finally, the most important thing is to listen to your heart to making your decision. And too bad if it takes more or less time than you thought. You can discuss and plan as much as you want with your other half, even if it seems rosy on paper. You will only genuinely fix the happiness of your cohabitation after having unpacked all your boxes together.
Four signs it’s too early to move in together.
There are several reasons why a couple decides to move to live in the same house. It may be to save money because paying half the rent and expenses is very convenient, because of the distance between their home, or because they spend a lot of time together.
However, it is necessary to think things through on certain occasions before taking such an essential step as this. In this installment, we will tell you the signs that you must take into account to know if it is too soon for them to move in together or not are.
1. The relationship is very recent.
Many couples who have known each other for a short time already fantasize about moving in together. However, according to teams sexologist Isiah McKimmie, this isn’t convenient because they haven’t yet had any serious discussions that put the relationship to the test. Seeing how our partner reacts when an argument or difficult conversation breaks out is an essential factor in deciding whether it is possible to move together or not.
2. You only want to measure the strength of the relationship.
The fact that they will live together should not be taken as the best way to determine if the relationship has a future or not. A male counseling therapist, Kurt Smith, says that “living together should only be a step forward when it’s clear that the relationship and both of you are ready for change.”
3. There is another person in the house, and they have not talked about it.
Sometimes someone else may be involved in the move. It may be the son of one of the two or a roommate. It is imperative, in this case, that before deciding to move, you include the talk about who lives with you because the other person is not always willing to live with someone else.
In this regard, Ryan Howes, a psychologist in Pasadena, California, warns that “You can love the idea of cohabitation and feel that your relationship is ready for it, but if others in the same place do not agree, it is not something recommendable.”
4. They haven’t talked about money yet.
Having a conversation about expenses is a necessary thing. If you both move in together and don’t know how much money you each have, there’s a higher risk of separation than if you know how much cash you have. There is an apparent adage that beads preserve a friendship. This saying can also be applied to couples and cohabitation; rest assured!
You should keep these four tips in mind when planning to live with your partner. Please pay close attention to them to check whether or not you are ready to start a new stage.
5. Someone feels pressured
Moving in with a romantic partner is a decision that neither of you should be forced into, not made under duress. They need to make sure that they are not doing it because they feel like they “should” or “are” supposed to live together at this stage of their relationship, but they are doing it because they want to live together with the other person actively. If it doesn’t happen 100% of free will, they will regret it.
6. The idea of living together causes them considerable anxiety
Don’t ignore your intuitions. Nerves are normal, but if the nerves feel like dread or panic, it’s essential to take time to understand those feelings and not take that step just yet.
7. They don’t always feel safe around each other.
It is a big red flag. If you don’t always feel safe and secure with your partner, even in times of conflict, when you’re angry or sad, or when you’re communicating your needs, moving in together won’t make things any better.
Trust is especially imperative when sharing your home with someone. They must have a firm conviction that they are making the right decision with the right person. If you still have doubts, it may be too soon to move in together.
It takes more than love and financial support to maintain a healthy relationship, and it’s much more challenging to break up with someone you live with.
Once you’ve decided to live with your partner, it’s best to discuss things like handling household responsibilities early on. It will help to continue living together effectively, so it can be a rewarding experience that brings you even closer.
How Soon Is Too Soon To Move In?